I'm a FemBot

I woke up this morning in a panic at EXACTLY 5:19 a.m. I was panicing not because Tyler was crying, but because he wasn't. In fact, he hadn't cried all night long. Normally a parent would dance a little jig at having a full nights sleep, but I doubt that the blue suede shoes came out the first night or two that it actually happents. I, of course, rush into Tyler's room and put my hand on his chest to make sure that everything is ok. Sure enough, he's sound asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief.

The next feeling I had was that of pain. "Pain?" you ask. Yes, pain. You see my boobs were rock hard because I was so engorged (gotta love nursing). I hadn't nursed Tyler since he went to bed around 10:30 p.m. the night before. Anyone remember Madonna's cone boobs? Had someone dropped me off of a bridge, I'm sure I would have sank, as I had boobs of concrete. It hurt. In a nano-second, and probably because I was still looking at Tyler, they decided it was time to start leaking. I was wearing my night-time bra sans pads... and thus milk was going everywhere. I (silently) cursed, and rushed around to grab burp clothes to soak up the mess, and then frantically started setting up the breast pump.

After I started pumping, I realized to myselft that I could have been cast in an Austin Powers' movie as a FemBot. Although I don't think anyone has ever been killed via breast milk, it gave me a good chuckle this morning as I was visulizing it. Thank god for a sense of humor, even at 5 in the morning.