Wednesday, March 4, 2009

It's Never To Early

Joe and I are big time football fans (read: American football, not international football/soccer). Weekends during the fall and winter are spent watching any number of games, while cheering, jeering (we all have teams we hate... Dallas Cowboys, I'm looking right at you!), and of course snacking. We both grew up in Michigan, so we are, despite our better judgment, fans of the Detroit Lions. Since we moved to Indiana, we've also become Colts fans (when in Rome). However, it is nice to watch a team that actually wins games instead of relying on field goals, defensive points, and dumb-luck (sorry Detroit but, you know it's true).

With that being said, Joe and I were ecstatic when we found out that Tyler was going to be a boy. We almost immediately started dreaming dreams of him becoming a professional football player, and us having season tickets to his NFL team of choice to cheer him on. Glorious, glorious dreams that were intensified with the strength that Tyler used to kick me whilst in utero. I used to put my hands on my ginormous belly and (using my best Adam Sandler impression voice) say, "He's gonna be a soccer player". But, really I meant that he was going to be a football player, duh.

After much deliberation, and taking into consideration his natural kicking talents, we decided that Tyler should be a kicker, a la Jason Hanson. Our reasoning being that the position offers a certain amount of implied safety (read: won't be getting tackled), while still allowing us to attend NFL games and cheer. Hoorah!

And then Tyler was born. In case you don't know, or don't remember, his stats at birth were 10# 2oz and 22" long. Yikes. He has since been appropriately nicknamed Tank, and we've been considering line backer positions for him.

Today, however, Tyler told me that he's been preparing for a much more dramatic and media attention grabbing football position. He said that he was thinking he wanted to be a wide receiver. I questioned his line of thinking, not really believing that someone so big and heavy could move quick enough to out run and out maneuver the defense. As usual, he proved me wrong and showed me that he has added speed and agility to his football resume.

This morning Tyler and I went to the laundry room to fold a load of laundry while Delilah was eating her morning scoops. I've found that it is important to remove Tyler from the kitchen while Delilah is eating, otherwise he will "assist" her in eating her scoops. He can sense that I don't want him to eat/play with Delilah's food, and therefore is drawn to it like a moth to a flame, like a defensive lineman to a quarterback. It's nature I suppose. At first he was content to help me sort the socks; then, when the moment was just right, he escaped. The moment consisted of me picking up a pair of jeans, shaking them out, folding them in half, and hanging them up on a hanger. Less than 20 seconds. In that time, Tyler made a mad dash for the kitchen and Delilah's dish, some 30-40 feet away. When I looked and he was gone, I knew right where he was. I walked into the kitchen to find him sitting next to Delilah and her bowl, with his right hand full of dog food and his left hand in her dish grasping for more.

Look out Larry Fitzgerald, Tyler is gunning for your spot.


I'm going to take this opportunity to totally brag. Today I totally reaped the benefit of weeks of Joe's hard work, and it was glorious!

I have to be completely honest with you all right now, when Joe is gone at work during the day, I use the bathroom with the door open. I don't do this because I have a fear of enclosed spaces, or because I am an exhibitionist. I do this because Tyler gets upset when he can't see me or find me. Hello, I'd love to use the bathroom by myself, but that just isn't in the cards right now.

Onward with my bragging... erm... story. This morning Tyler and I were playing in the living room, I stood up and said, "Mommy needs to go make her peeps come." (yes, I ACTUALLY said that).

Tyler: -ignores me and continues to play with his Sesame Street toy-

Me: -exit stage right, towards the bathroom-

Tyler: -realizes he's alone after 90 seconds- "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (translation, "where are you Mommy?") and then starts crawling aimlessly in search of me.

Me: -peek my head through the door way of the bathroom- "Hi Tyler, here I am." -I wave and smile-

Tyler: -sits up, bursts into a cheek-splitting, melt-my-heart grin of recognition and relief, raises his right arm and WAVES AT ME!-

In order for you to realize how freaking cool this is, you must first know that 1) this was Tyler's very first wave ever, and 2) Joe has been working on waving with Tyler for weeks. In fact, Joe has even been correcting me ("wave to him when you say hi"). I realized that Joe was right (that's right, I said it), and have been incorporating the hand motion along with the words for the past couple days. I was super geeked when I got to witness Tyler's first wave. I felt so special... and just the teensiest little bit guilty. All of Joe's hard work, and I get the reward. Oh yeah, Mommy rules!